I know that originally the majority of the people who will read this blog post are already sensitive and caring regarding what words we use to define people. So – this is common knowledge and validation for you.
Also – I am praying that the message will go far and wide to those who have caring hearts but lack knowledge or are unaware of the negative impact of some words that are insensitive, thoughtless, hurtful, inappropriate, and incorrect. You can help with that!
Recently I happened upon a podcast episode of a respected host. I turned on the interview and began my daily walking routine. In just a matter of minutes, I was completely taken off guard by what the person being interviewed shared. It was what some would consider innocent banter, a form of self-deprecating humor. However, those words settled deep into the center of my gut. My breath was literally taken away. I hurt for those who had already heard it or would listen to the podcast episode sometime in the future who have loved ones with disabilities or those with the disabilities themselves.
Those conducting the interview were sharing the guest’s accomplishments and praising his contributions through the years by way of introduction.
The guest then described himself as possibly being “mildly retarded in a good way like an autistic. I don’t mean like a deficit. I mean like the idiot savant – the guy that can’t tie his shoes but he can play Beethoven.”
I stopped walking, backed up the recording, and listened again. I was not imagining things. The word autism was also thrown into the banter.
It has been bothering me for days now.
Thus, this blog post.
I am pretty sure that this guest or the hosts did not mean to cause harm or hard feelings for anyone. I think it was totally a matter of lack of awareness of what these words could mean to the disability community.
But…if this could happen among people who truly care about other people, then our job is not done in raising awareness.
So, what’s the problem? Why is this an issue?
How do words make you feel? I asked people in three different private social media groups of parents, caregivers, and individuals in faith communities this question: “If you have a loved one who has a disability, if you, yourself are the one with a disability, or if you serve those with disabilities, what do those words (retarded, idiot savant) do to you?”
Everyone shared that these words create some level of hurt for them.
Two moms stated that friends of theirs asked how their “retarded” children were doing and one suggested that she should put her adult daughter in a group home. While there is certainly nothing wrong with placing children in group homes if that is what works best for the parents or caregivers and the individual with disabilities, it is hurtful when suggestions like this are made assuming they know what is best for the family.
Some of those who commented to the social media post were feeling like grace should be given and chalked the use of the words up to things like 1) older age for whom it has been common all their lives to use these words in conversation because words & phrases change, people sometimes are just unaware, 2) ignorance in knowing how the words affect those in the disability community,
Dignity and Value. Everyone chimed in that we all need to continue with raising awareness about how this affects the disability community and with educating people on more current and acceptable terminology. Ultimately, like one person shared, we all “want to see that folks understand the dignity and value of people with disabilities and reflect that in attitude and behavior.” And to that I say a resounding, Amen!
Commitment to raising awareness. So, let us be committed to raising awareness and extend much grace and kindness in the process.
In August of 2013, the Social Security Administration officially had a change in terminology from mental retardation to intellectual disability. You can read about it here:
Social Security changes terminology:
There are more words. Of course the words retarded and idiot savant are not the only offensive words used to define people with disabilities. A google search will find many more terms that are inappropriate and inaccurate and offensive. At the same time, you can find alternate terms that are kinder and more appropriate. It is worth the search for all of us because we may come across some harsher descriptions and demoralizing definitions along with their appropriate counterparts that we can bring to light.
I want to end this blog post with those very wise words from one of our commenters that we mentioned earlier:
Our Goal. Our goal (in raising awareness) is:
“to see that folks understand the dignity and value of
people with disabilities and reflect that in attitude and behavior.”
Much love,
Julie Meekins
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