How to love our brothers and sisters with disabilities better.
Are our assumptions serving each other well?
Today we participated in a roundtable on Zoom with over 30 participants from all over the country discussing the topic of serving individuals at church who have speech limitations. The discussion was started right out of the gate by two women who have found amazing ways to use the gifts God has given them in spite of the challenge of having limited ability to use speech to communicate.
Here are some things we learned from them and others during this enlightening and inspiring conversation.
What is our mindset? Mindset is about attitude and perspective – a way of thinking – how we understand something.
So, let us ask:
What should our attitude be? – How did Jesus embrace people with disabilities? He cared about them and healed them. (Matthew 21:14, Mark 8)) He taught his disciples to invite them and include them (Luke 14).
What should we think about those with disabilities? They are people who are so much more like us than not like us. When our Amy was 6 years old, we wanted to communicate to the children around her age and their families with whom we were acquainted that Amy was more like those children than she was not. Even though she was a little wobbly in her walking, a little delayed in her speech, had some left facial palsy, and ate through a tube in her belly – she loved birthday parties and playing with her friends and singing in the children’s choir. And so, we invited 25 children to her 6th birthday party. AND – they all came! We even added a few siblings to the mix. With Amy’s three older siblings and some of their friends, we created a “fair” in our backyard. There was face painting, bean bag tossing, a coloring station, a fishing pond with rods that picked up “fish” with magnets, and much more. There was cake and ice cream and other treats. Everyone had a blast – those who came to celebrate with Amy and those who worked the backyard fair booths.
What is our perspective? If Jesus included, had compassion on, treated with respect, and served those with disabilities and if people with disabilities are more like us than they are not – what should our next steps be?
*Acceptance. Recognize their worth.
*Inclusion. Bring them into the fold. Give them opportunities for community. Find out their gifts and help them find opportunities to use them.
*Advocacy. Plead for, defend, and promote them. Urge others to embrace them.
*Look for the whole story. “See” them for who they truly are.
*Build relationships and friendships with them.
Hearts are in the right place, people just need some coaching. One parent mentioned this as she advocated for her son with autism. So many times we do not get involved with what we are not comfortable with because of the lack of understanding which creates the feeling of inadequacy and brings up fears. What if someone were willing to come alongside and give a little coaching. Would you be open to that? Who knows, your greatest friendships could be waiting to blossom.
Celebrate every little step in the right direction. Individuals with disabilities and those parenting children and teens and even adults with disabilities are often working very hard and up a steep hill to create the same things that naturally happen for others. We want to learn to celebrate those victories along the way when others “get it” and doors begin to open for us or our loved ones.
It takes ONE. What if every person with a disability had just one person in the body of Christ who took the time to really see them? Will you be the ONE for someone?
Assume competence – For example, often when we encounter a child or an adult who cannot talk to us in the way we use speech to communicate, we make assumptions. We figure that they cannot communicate at all or we come to the conclusion that they do not or cannot understand. What if, instead, we assume that they ARE competent to understand us? What if we took the time to engage with them, to befriend them, to get to know them? Our guess is that we would be very surprised at their level of ability, competency, and intelligence.
There are true stories where everyone assumed incompetence with an individual who could not talk with verbal speech the way we do, only to find out that when that person was given the tools to communicate either through an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) device or letter board they understood everything. The level of competence often exceeded everyone’s expectations. Many of these people are changing the world in amazing ways.
We came away from that roundtable excited about sharing with YOU, our readers, who we know care about individuals and families affected by disabilities and who deeply love our Savior and His people know simple and practical ways that you can serve the disability community.
You are loved,
Tom and Julie
Tom and Julie Meekins
Champions4Parents.com
410-746-9010
