By Julie Meekins
December is just around the corner. Does knowing that put you in a panic? Do you already feel a growing sense of being swamped?
December can be so lovely – a month filled with beautiful decorations, sweet music, joyful celebrations, adorable children’s concerts, fun gift-giving, church Christmas pageants, family togetherness — the stuff of life-long sweet memories.
Unfortunately, December can also be a trying time for families. We tend to attempt to cram in more projects than is humanly possible, overschedule both our children and ourselves, eat poorly, and take too little time to rest. All of this can be a recipe for disaster.
What we have to remember is that our family — if we are raising a child with special needs and/or caring for any individual affected by both obvious and hidden disabilities – has added reasons to be concerned about the holidays becoming too much.
Our loved ones can easily become confused, clingy, hyperactive, cranky, disobedient, sick, all manner of dysregulated, have trouble focusing, meltdown more, and our days can be just plain challenging. For sure! But wait. Those are symptoms that so often describe us, too, aren’t they? We can feel so very defeated.
What is the solution?
Here are a few tips that may help to keep your nose above the water and maybe even help to give you and your family the memorable, joy-filled holiday specialness you always hope for:
Decide how you will emphasize the reason for the season. We can get so caught up in all the bows and ribbons, baking and crafting, gift searching, and bending over backwards attempting to fill the expectations of family and friends who cannot even truly know all that we are dealing with, that we forget what we are celebrating. We forget to focus on the simple beginnings of our Savior and why He came. Make a plan to remember this precious gift yourself and to teach the simple gospel message in some small way to your loved ones every day this season.
Guard the schedule: Be very careful to pick and choose carefully the events in which you and your family will participate. Think about your individual family members. Will there be too much stimulation? If so, will we have an easy exit? I know it is hard. We want our family members to participate in fun holiday activities just like everyone else. But, the reality is that we must plan ahead. We must do a little more homework up front or at least have a good strategy for bringing a dysregulated child or overwhelmed or overstimulated child back to a calm place. We might have to pick just one activity in a week rather than one for every day. It is okay to bow out. You are the advocate. You know best. Guard against letting others influence you, manipulate you, guilt you into doing too much.
Watch your nutrition: This is the time of year where a lot of our effort for a healthy balanced diet goes out the window. Everywhere we turn there is more sugar and processed foods with dyes and preservatives. No judgment, but with all the items on our to-do list, we often opt for “take out” food or “convenience” food. I get it. Something has to give. I only suggest that you start now and plan ahead to have as many easy-to-prepare, good-for-you meals and snacks available and commit to them. You know you will be ahead of the game in the long run because you will not be reaping the adverse effects of too much sugar, and other bad-for-you ingredients that have the potential of making everyone miserable. Then, maybe you can feel good about showing love to those who make special treats for you and your family and you can indulge with a plan and with a more fortified immune system.
Be realistic with the projects: I used to love to hang out at craft stores searching for handmade gift projects for the kids to give to family and friends. While they were a lot of fun most of the time, occasionally the children would stress out by the pressure I would put on them to “do a good job for Gramma” or “let’s work a little more quickly” when they were really more into the “process” than the end product. Sometimes I went a little overboard with the amount of projects with crafts and my expectations of the finished product as well as enormous amounts of baking I would put on my list to accomplish. How about you? Do you have some projects you would like your children or you, yourself, to do to create gifts for family and friends? Maybe this is a good time to assess if this year is not a good one to put that kind of pressure on yourself or your children.
Factor in plenty of downtime: As much as you can, plan for your toddler’s and infant’s naps or for an opportunity for a calm atmosphere or rest time for those who struggle with sensory overload. Schedule quiet time for everyone. Get yourself to bed at a reasonable time. I know. You might be thinking – I don’t get enough sleep as it is – that is all the more reason to schedule more opportunities for it into your December life.
And if you find yourself overwhelmed or that your children are dysregulated or are sick, don’t be hard on yourself. Just assess and slow it down a bit. It’s okay. There are a whole lot of us who totally understand you and “get it” even if those close to you do not.
My prayer for you is that this holiday season be filled with a fresh new focus on Jesus and rest, joy, realistic expectations, healthy food, special treats and a happier healthier family!
Hugs to all of you!
Julie
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Call or Text)
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Don’t forget our website: www.Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s book at www.HeartReCHARGE.com
