Julie Meekins
Hey Mom! Are you feeling guilty?
Most moms I know suffer from some sense of mom guilt at some time or another. You may be thinking things like…
- It is my fault that my child has this disability.
- I have no idea what I am doing.
- What does being a good “advocate” even mean?
- Why can I not get my act together, this place is a mess!
- I had to apologize yet again to my child for vocalizing my frustrations.
- And then…there are the other members of the family and extended family that I feel I am neglecting.
- Insert whatever has you in a state of remorse, regret, or even a sense of shame.
All the moms I know (and there are a lot!) have felt Mom guilt.
We could go on forever with this train of thought. BUT, I encourage you to pause for just a minute.
Have you ever thought about the purpose of guilt? Could there be a purpose for guilt? Is it valid? Does it help anybody anywhere? Is there a way to get over guilt?
Let’s find out what the Bible has to say.
Guilt as a tool of God
There is actually a very good purpose for guilt. God uses a guilty conscience to make us aware of our sin. This is a good thing. We need to know that we sin because if we don’t know that we sin, we don’t know that we need a Savior to save us from the penalty of our sin. Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Sin also has a penalty. Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death.” This is an eternal death, one that drives us to hell forever. Pretty serious stuff. But, what I love to remember is the second half of that verse “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Now we have the opportunity to receive the free gift of salvation in Christ. We must confess our sin, repent from our sin (which we became aware of because of guilt), turn away from sin, and believe that Jesus lived, died, and was raised again to pay for that sin. Guilt can also drive us to repentance in our daily walk.
Guilt as a tool of Satan
Guilt is not only a tool to bring us to repentance, but, unfortunately, our enemy uses guilt as a tool for his purposes, as well. He is an accuser. (Rev. 12:10) He has figured out that with the accusations he whispers to us, he can distract us from being the awesome mom God is calling us to be. So, he puts doubts in our minds and causes us to take our focus away from the truth of God’s Word.
When we start to go down a rabbit hole of …
- I’m not good enough
- God doesn’t care about me or my child.
- I will never get this right
- I don’t know why God picked me to be this child’s mother
Satan will use it to render us less than who God is equipping us to be. Satan will use these discouraging thoughts to keep us from doing what God has called us to do. These are lies. But know this: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9). Stand on these promises: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love.” (Psalm 103:8) “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his faithful love toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:11-12)
The Good Surrender
So, Mom – here’s the thing: We will never be perfect and everything is not up to only us.
Sit with that for a minute.
- I thought it was up to me to present each of my four children with the absolute best education available to man.
- I thought it was up to me to make sure everyone had the absolute best medical care – the child with overt special needs, and everyone else.
- I thought it was up to me to provide all four of my children social experiences that would give them the opportunity to be so very well rounded.
- I felt the burden of making sure that I provided the best nutrition to keep them healthy and strong physically and sharp mentally.
- I wanted to be the best example of a Christ-follower so that my children had a good example to follow and they, too, would know to embrace the Savior and rely on Him for salvation and sanctification.
How about you? Do you see yourself in those self-imposed mandates? .
This is what I have learned: God doesn’t expect me to be the only provider of all these things for my kids. He invites me to surrender to Him for the equipping, to bring my children before Him in prayer, to depend on His grace for my children AND for me to accept His unconditional love.
I encourage you to bring your guilt, your overwhelm, your exhaustion, your confusion and anything else that keeps you feeling shameful and inadequate and lay them at the foot of the cross.
Know when your guilt is bringing you to repentance and confess and accept forgiveness and move on.
Pray for God to show you when the enemy is influencing you. See false guilt for what it is – the tool of the enemy and don’t buy into it.
In your mind and your heart bring these burdens to Jesus. Feel His compassion. Know His deep love. Accept His sufficiency. And…take one step at a time in confidence that He is walking with you.
Here are some more passages of Scripture to meditate on. Read them often. They have been a blessing for me. I pray that they will be with you also.
This is the truth that God wants you to know:
Did you know that Jesus and the Holy Spirit of God prays for us according to the will of the Father?
Hebrews 7:25 “Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.”
Romans 8:26 “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
Jesus comforts us through the Holy Spirit.
John 14:26 “But the Comforter, even the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.”
We need rest, strength, help and God’s hand to hold.
Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
2 Corinthians 1:4 “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Freedom from anxiety.
1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”
Restored to have joy in your journey!
Nehemiah 8:10 NIV “…the Joy of the Lord is your strength!”
Moms – There is no question that ours is a high calling. Just remember, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. Thes. 5:24 ESV.
And remember – you are not alone. If you would like to have a personal conversation with us about this topic or anything else on your mind, email us today at Champions4Parents@gmail.com and ask for Private Coaching. We can have a video chat on Zoom, a conversation over the phone, or communicate by email.
Much love,
Julie Meekins
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Voice or Text)
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Champions4Parents
Don’t forget our website: www.Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s book at www.HeartReCHARGE.com
