Some children have challenges and struggles that are seriously legit but are hidden and misunderstood. Many of these struggles show themselves in difficult behavior. Sometimes, we, as adults – parents, teachers, ministry leaders, coaches – make assumptions about the behaviors. Often parents get a bum rap because the other adults in our kids’ worlds judge our parenting because of those behaviors.
First let us understand that BEHAVIOR IS COMMUNICATION. I honestly don’t think we can think about this too much. I get it. A child is melting down and you have to keep him or her and everyone else safe and moving forward. It is hard. But, what if we can stay alert to be on the lookout for certain scenarios that happen BEFORE the meltdown? What if we can identify triggers for these challenging behaviors? Most of all, what if we can take steps ahead of time to help those triggers not to even happen or jump on strategies to calm them quicker?
What if you became aware of simple steps you could take to make a difference? Come, let’s unpack new possibilities of loving these kids well.
Some simple steps:
Keep our Eyes on the Prize. Relationships. We want to build and maintain good relationships with these children. You can sit in the seat of influence much better if you are motivated to help them because you care about them.These kids can smell inauthenticity a mile away. Just be real. They appreciate genuine and honest communication. Have empathy for their struggle. Let them know by your care that you “see” them.
For those of us in ministry leadership, we don’t want to lose sight of why we are even making ministry opportunities available to them. Love God. Love People. Let’s keep the intention of loving that child forefront and remember the mission of sharing the gospel, living the gospel in front of them, making disciples by guiding them to love God and love people by our words and by example. Let’s be committed to people-over-program. We all have an agenda or plan that we are trying to carry out. Let us not forget the individual children.
Ask parents. Most parents are the experts on their children. They may be able to give you insight on what you can implement in your setting. Things like:
- What helps them to get calm at home?
- What are they interested in?
- What would make them feel comfortable in this setting?
- What are they good at?
- What do they struggle with?
- How can we help them like it and be successful here?
Get to know the kids and their families.
Don’t make assumptions.
- people have assumed all Amy’s life that she was capable of less than she is
- people often assume that children who look typical are capable of more than they actually are able to handle in troubled moments
Watch your expectations. What we expect from a child who is having challenges is often set by false assumptions.
Create an environment where kids want to be.
Be loving and accepting. Clearly communicate your expectations with kindness. Make it fun for everyone.
Open your mind to new ways of doing things. If you think something will be helpful for one child, chances are it will be good for all of the children in the group. Let’s endeavor to reach each child as an individual as we also encourage, teach, train, and love the children as a group.
The children who are struggling need you to look beyond their behavior. What will you do today to show love and compassion?
If you would like to have a conversation to brainstorm how you might implement some of these ideas, we are here for you. Email us at Champions4Parents@gmail.com or text us at 410-746-9010 and let us know your desire to connect. We can meet by email, telephone, Zoom or in person if you are local to Central Virginia.
Much love,
Tom & Julie Meekins
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Voice or Text)
Facebook: facebook.com/Champions4Parents
Don’t forget our website: Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s websites at
AmyChristineMeekins.com
Amystories.wixsite.com/heartrecharge
If you would like to support us financially as we provide love and support to Parents and Caregivers as well as Ministry Folks who serve families impacted by disability, we invite you to our donor page on our website: Champions4Parents.com/giving
