Speaking Truth into the Heart

Speaking Truth into the Heart, Mind, and Soul of your Child Combating Low Self Esteem, Negative Self Talk, and Low Motivation

All of us at some time or another struggle with our self worth and where we fit in the family, in our jobs, with extended family, with our friends, at our church, etc. Some of our children struggle big time with self worth most of the time. The root cause of this can be a lot of things, but the important thing at this time is that you can speak truth into their hearts and minds and souls. 

Here are a few steps you can take:

Observe and list. First thing is to observe your child. As you observe, make a list of the good things you see in him or her; character traits, interests, hobbies, strengths, skills. Take your time to observe and list over a period of days and maybe even a few weeks.

Pre-Work to Recording. The next step is to do some up-front work before recording a message. What do you want your child to know? What truth do you want to communicate? The purpose is to provide good input to outweigh low self esteem, negative self talk — bad feelings about himself or herself. You want to get across the point of their worth.

Biblical truth

Whenever we struggle with self worth – it is always good to go to the root of our existence and the God who created us to find out what He has to say. 

In Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV), through King David, God tells us “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Our child is not only precious to us, but she is even more precious to God. He formed her inward parts, carefully knitting them together in her mother’s womb. Our child is fearfully and wonderfully made! Every detail of his body and soul has been made in a wonderful way! There is no doubt that the Creator of the universe created our child in a detailed and deliberate way. He even determined the number of the days of her life. Share these truths with your child. He is valuable. She was created by a creative God who loves her.

Evidence in Action

What did you find as you observed your child? Did you catch him or her being kind? Did you see them show respect to someone? Was there a moment of forgiveness, humility, respect? Did you observe an act of service? In addition to character traits, what talents, strengths, skills do you see? You will want to communicate that you noticed.

Encouragement motivates

Low self esteem and a constant barrage of negative self-talk drags a person down and creates an atmosphere within and all around them of low energy. This can leave one with a low reserve for taking action. I don’t know about you, but when someone encourages us because of something good they see in us, we are motivated to do more. False flattery doesn’t do it. Kids are looking for authenticity. If you can speak of the good in them because of what the Creator made and because of the evidence of good character and also sprinkle in talents and strength you have seen in them, children are boosted. We will caution that if this child has had a habit of negative self-talk and low self-esteem, it may take a great deal of authentic positive communication, but it is so worth the effort for them now and for their lifetime and the dynamics of family life.

Reminder of the goal

The ultimate reason for doing all this is to speak truth into the heart and soul and mind of the child. We want them to know their worth. Once the truth starts to take hold in this child, you will begin to see changes. One of those changes will be an increase in motivation because there will be an increase in confidence that they can and want to make a difference and that they are capable. They will be more willing to take a chance on starting and completing projects and tasks.

It is important for us, as parents, to exercise patience.

Now, for the script. If you are one of those gifted people who can look in a camera and make a video or speak and make an audio recording and know exactly what you want to include without a script or “cheat-sheet”, then, by all means, go directly to making the recording. However, if you need a reminder of the points you want to include in a recording (audio or video), I suggest that you either create a list or create a script. 

The information should be short but impactful. 

It should include: Biblical truths and real descriptions of observations you have made of this child in the areas of character traits, strengths, talents, etc.. You can also add how important to you this child is.

Here is an example to get your juices flowing. Make it personal and according to your personality.

Example:

That may be enough for one communication.

Then, as you see the mind shift and the confidence rise, you may want to redo the communication and add another part. 

You may want to share new examples of God’s truth, new observations of good character traits, new ways the child is acting out those character traits, new accomplishments, etc. 

And…you may want to add in the next step. For example: (remember this is just an example to get your juices flowing. Always come from a genuine place with your own personality.)

“I love how we get to have a new start each and every day of our lives. Each day holds new wonders. I know you can’t wait to see what wonders there are to behold this day. Along with all those wonders, we have responsibilities. You are valued and needed in this family and we are very thankful for you. As we work together as a family unit, you get to participate in ways that are truly unique and special to you and needed by you.”

Then add in what you want to happen…

“As you arise, you will get dressed, make your bed, etc., etc.  (continue the list of expected things — be careful not to make it too long so as to discourage). When you come to breakfast, it will be good for you to put on your listening ears. Be a detective and see if you can listen to one thing that each family member shares so you can report it to me when we have a minute later in the day. It is good to get to know the other members of the family. This will be a wonderful project to do at each meal. I am glad you are my son/daughter. You are very special to me. I look forward to spending this day with you.” 

So, to RECAP:

Purpose: To speak truth into a child’s heart, mind, and soul and replace lies.

Avenue: A communication by audio or video

Specifics:

• Include: God’s Word, true observations of good character traits, strengths, talents
• Length: Short communication but impactful
• When: Play it over and over and over again. For example, have it playing while the child is playing, eating, doing a chore, exercising, etc. The untruth is often embedded deeply – repetition is necessary to unpack lies and replace with truth. Put off the old and put on the new. 

Many parents we know have used this method of reversing negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and low motivation with their children and have reported excellent results. Some children who are good at sabotaging their own health, may resist at first. Our advice is to keep trying – keep introducing. The key is for you to believe that this can make a difference and for you to be persevering and patient.

Please reach out and connect with us if you would like support as you implement this method. We are here for you. 

Much love,

Tom and Julie Meekins

Champions4Parents.com 

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN CONNECT WITH US:

• We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
• Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
• Phone: 410-746-9010
• Facebook: facebook.com/Champions4Parents/
• Don’t forget our website: www.champions4parents.com