The real heart and soul of people with disabilities is often overlooked because most people are focused only on what they see as different.
Something to ponder:
If you are a person living with disability, or a parent or other caregiver of a person with a disability, or if you are a ministry leader who serves people with disabilities:
– What message would you like to give to those who only look surface deep.
– What would you say to people who fear differences?
– How are people with disabilities the same as everyone else?
– What else would you share?
Let’s unpack this question: How are people with disabilities the same as all people?
How did we get to the place where we even have to ask that question?
It is complicated and there have been generations upon generations of people with misinformation, biases, fears, prejudices, and ignorance. We will not get into peeling back all those layers and details in this blog post, because at this point, our goal is to set in motion a healthy mindset and action steps forward that will bring unity and community for all of us.
We asked these same questions across several social media groups which are made up of individuals with disabilities, parents and caregivers of those living with disabilities, and ministry leaders of churches:
– What message would you like to give to those who only look surface deep?
– What would you say to people who fear differences?
– How are people with disabilities the same as everyone else?
– What else would you share?
This is a summary of the insights many shared. Before reading through and giving thought to these points, stop a minute and pray for God to soften your heart (we are doing the same), to give you insight and tenderness toward our brothers and sisters who are living with disability. Ask Him for guidance for your next steps.
Take time to get to know people with disabilities – both hidden and obvious. Over time, if you let it happen, some of these folks could become your closest friends. Instead of writing off the ability to include people of disability into your church, into your community – investigate how you could make it happen. One commenter to our post shared this: I helped a local pottery studio adapt classes and welcome those with disabilities to their studio. None of the owners or instructors had experience with people with disabilities. I was talking to an owner today and she was talking about how blown away they all are that these new students are people they needed in their lives. The students get so much out of their time with clay but the instructors, once they got to know them, can’t imagine life without these people. Get to know them.
Have patience. We live in such a fast paced world. We are buzzing around with our agendas and our task lists and we don’t often take the time to just be with others.
Put aside your biases – we see behaviors and attach our own biases and experiences to what we think we are seeing. What if we paused long enough to look deeper and to pray for wisdom to understand what is behind the behavior? That could go a long way in developing relationships.
Don’t use people with disabilities as examples to inspire others in order to make yourself feel better. There are many people who truly have pure motives who will not understand why this is difficult for people with disabilities. As you develop friendships with people with disabilities, ask them how this makes them feel and what they would rather you do instead. Also, don’t make a person living with disabilities your “ministry project.” They are people, not projects.
Don’t make assumptions for all based on your own personal experiences.
Don’t be afraid to start a conversation. You may be surprised at how most people with disabilities want to get to know you and want you to get to know them. Many would love to help you have insight that leads to better relationships.
Work on your own fears and discomfort. First admit that you have them. Spending time with people living with disability will open your eyes to new understanding if you are open to that.
Follow the example of Jesus – Who did he spend His time with? Who did He bring into community? Reach out to those who may be rejected by others. In Mark 10:49, there is the story of Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, sitting by the road side as Jesus passed by. As he cried out to Jesus for mercy, many around him told him to be silent. But he was persistent. Jesus instructed those around Bartimaeus to call him to come to Him. Jesus healed Bartimaeus who then joined his community.
In many more encounters, Jesus welcomed the lame, blind, crippled, those who couldn’t speak, and many others. Our first response should be to welcome those who need to join our fellowship. We are missing a blessing when we exclude others from the body of Christ.
Check out: 1 Cor. 12:22 – “On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,”
Church communities need people with disabilities as much as people with disabilities need communities.
We asked at the beginning of this writing, how are people with disabilities the same as all people? Let’s start at the beginning of creation. In Genesis 1:27 we read, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Everyone is created in the image of God!
And God tells us in Ephesians 2:10 that we are His handiwork, workmanship, and masterpiece! Everyone! In Psalm 139:14, we learn that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We all are knit together in our mother’s womb!
Marvelous are Your works, O Lord!
Now, let’s ask the question, what do ALL PEOPLE need? desire?
– To feel loved and supported
– To have a sense of purpose
– To belong to the community
– To live as independently as able
– To have friendship
We ALL need a community where people can
– love and care for one another
– endure trials,
– have the opportunity to be happy, sad, and silly,
– enjoy friendship, conversation, and relationships.
When our Amy was turning 6 years old, we began to plan her birthday party. We started out thinking that we would have a few kids her age whose families we knew over for cake and ice cream and maybe a few games. As we began to put those plans in motion, we thought about how much more Amy was like these kids than she was different. There were obvious differences that come with a diagnosis of Charge Syndrome, physical features, speech delays, gross motor delays, swallowing issues, etc., but we knew from the experience of raising Amy’s three older siblings, that she was more like them than she was different — in spite of her disability.
So – we began to realize that we had an opportunity here. We could help our community see Amy as just like them in so many ways. We invited 25 children to come celebrate Amy’s birthday with our family. Yes — you read that right – 25 children! We had an absolute blast. We recruited Amy’s siblings and their friends to help us put on a backyard fair. There were many stations for play – games and coloring and sandbox and water play and so much more. Amy’s siblings and their friends manned each of the stations. We put several sets of tables and chairs together and they stretched from one end of the kitchen to the other and had cake and ice cream enjoyed by 25 children (plus a few more siblings of the kids who were invited).
It was a grand success. Everyone got to see that Amy adored her backyard fair. She loved the activity stations. She loved when everyone sang happy birthday to her. She loved blowing out her candles (even if she needed a little help). Even though she couldn’t eat the cake and ice cream, she had some in front of her like the other kids. She was so much more like them than she was different.
Here’s the key: We are God’s people. We have Jesus’ example. We are empowered by the Holy Spirit. We can work toward making these basic human desires happen for everyone.
Let’s be part of the inclusion movement by creating environments where people living with disability (hidden and obvious) can participate and receive all the basic human needs that every person requires and hopes for.
If you need
– a listening ear,
– some practical ideas,
– to brainstorm your situation so that you can put action steps in place to move in a good direction toward inclusion (which is just a term that means make a place for kids and adults with disabilities and their families to integrate into the community,)
we would love to have a conversation with you.
Email us at Champions4Parents@gmail.com or text us at 410-746-9010 and let us know your desire to connect. We can meet by email, telephone, Zoom or in person if you are local to Central Virginia.
Much love,
Tom & Julie Meekins
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Voice or Text)
Facebook: facebook.com/Champions4Parents
Don’t forget our website: Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s websites at
AmyChristineMeekins.com/
Amystories.wixsite.com/heartrecharge
If you would like to support us financially as we provide love and support to Parents and Caregivers as well as Ministry Folks who serve families impacted by disability, we invite you to our donor page on our website: Champions4Parents.com/donate
