You are tired. You have done much. You have cared much. You have loved much.
You are not done yet. You still will do much. You still care. You still love.
But — you are tired. Your body is exhausted and may even be ill. Your mind is a bit foggy. Your spirit is a tad bit low.
Somehow along the way you have gotten the wrong information that it is selfish to focus on your health and well being. After all, you say, these little and adult children and/or spouses and/or parents, etc. need me. How can I?
Here is the truth, you need to fill your thinking with: “take care of the caregiver”. Not only do we give you permission to take care of yourselves, we implore you to do what you need to do in order to be and stay healthy in every way: body, mind, spirit.
It is time for restoration. You need renewal.
The time is now to bring YOU back to a state of good health, sharp thinking, and vibrancy.
How are you PHYSICALLY?
Take an assessment of your physical health. What are your inefficiencies or difficulties physically? How is your energy level? Have you been getting sick a lot lately? Do you eat healthy foods for your body? How are your sleep habits? Do you take time to rest?
Exercise, even simple exercise like taking a walk, can make a huge difference in your energy level.
As caregivers, we struggle with healthy eating because it can take extra time. But, you can make it simple. Just buy fresh and whole foods, rather than packaged foods. Buy baby carrots and dip them in ranch dressing. Buy already cut up fruit and cheese and baby spinach ready to eat. Cook some chicken breasts and dip them in hummus. Walk away from junk food when you can. These can often be our food of choice because they can be “comfort food” and convenient. You will begin to feel more vibrant physically with eating fresh fruit and veggies and adding in good protein sources like wild caught fish and chicken and eggs. Make it as simple as possible so it can be attainable.
Take time to rest. Even 5 minutes to breathe in fresh air can make a difference for you. A number of years ago, when I was at the peak of raising and homeschooling our four children and the extra care with Amy’s special needs including tube feeding and home therapies, I found my body having a difficult time getting out of bed. Some of my friends thought that I might be depressed, but I knew I wasn’t. A health coach wisely encouraged me to start taking a nap each day. My first thought was, “Yeah, right. How on earth can that happen?” But then I began to realize that the children were old enough to hold down the fort for an hour each day. So, I implemented the simple discipline of going to my bedroom, setting an alarm for an hour, getting into my bed, and shutting my eyes. I was shocked at how fast I fell asleep each day! My body was screaming for rest and I didn’t even know it.
Be mindful of taking breaks and doing something you enjoy. If you are a reader – read books you enjoy. If you are an artist, go get some supplies and set up a time to create. If you are a musician – make music. If you are into mountain climbing or marathon running – make a way for it to happen.
We all need to stop considering these as EXTRA things. Instead, we need to understand that these are the things that can restore us physically.
How are you MENTALLY?
Take an assessment of your mindset. What are your inefficiencies or difficulties mentally? What kinds of thoughts are running through your head on a regular basis? Is your cup “half full” or “half empty”? Do you only see the negatives in a situation? Do you only see the shortcomings in other people? Do you focus only on your faults? Are your expectations too high? of yourself? of others?
Did you know that your mind pays attention to what you tell it? What are you telling yourself? Are you ready to tell your mind the truth? What is the truth?
“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31 and 32 (ESV)
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
Choose to look for the silver lining in the situations of your life. Look for good things in people. Look for things in which you can be thankful. Count your blessings.
Every day, look for a victory. Those victories can come in a new development in your child (however small it seems). Cherish it. If you have a specific provision financially, celebrate it. Notice when someone extends help to you in some way. Whether that help comes from someone holding the door for you or it comes by helping you clean your house or doing your laundry or they prepare a meal for you or just even have a kind word or a smile – don’t take any of that for granted, thank God who is Jehovah Jireh (my provider) and realize that He is orchestrating the victories.
Look for hopeful, supportive, reassuring, and inspirational verses in the Bible or life quotes with biblical truths. Post them all around your home, workplace, and/or car.
Surround yourself with others who are striving to take in and live out truth. Mental health is enhanced by understanding and believing and living out truth.
How are you SPIRITUALLY?
Take an assessment of your HEART/SPIRIT. This affects your vim, vigor, and vitality. Your spirit is the real person inside you. You are unique — fearfully and wonderfully made by God as the Scripture says — and only YOU can bring what you bring to your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, — to the world. What is your purpose? What is your calling? Where do you get your purpose and calling from? Have you thought about it?
What are your inefficiencies or difficulties spiritually? Not enough time with the God who created you? Lack of Bible intake? Little prayer? Too much focus on work/tasks/(even)ministry? Running with the tyranny of the urgent without purpose? Letting the “wisdom” of the world influence you more than biblical, godly truth/wisdom?
Purpose to spend time in God’s Word. This is where the answers for life lie. Look for truth treasures that will invigorate you. Spend time communicating with the God who created you. Your Savior (do you know Jesus?) wants to have a relationship with you.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to wake up each day with a new sense of wonder? You can.
Are you eager to step into your calling each morning?
What is your special talent/personality trait (humor, affection, etc.) that you can use to bring a light to your family and others? Is it rusty? Pull it out and get it working again. Your family and others need you.
Not sure how you bless others? Ask them. Ask others what they see as your gifts, talkents, and enjoyable personality traits.
In summary, the Body (the physical), the Mind (the mental), and the Spirit (the spiritual) are all interwoven. We are made up of all of these parts that come together to make a whole person. When we are working to be healthy physically, it affects our mental state in a positive way. When we are striving to fill our minds with truth, it affects us physically and spiritually. When we are focused on the God who created us and purpose to fill our minds and hearts with the things of God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – our physical and mental state are blessed.
Have you ever heard the term: PRIMARY FOOD? We first learned this term when we attended an online health coaching program. Joshua Rosenthal, the founder of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition describes Primary Food this way, “Primary foods feed us, but they don’t come on a plate.”
We have come to understand Primary Food in our lives as this:
- Relationship with God (Father, Son, and Spirit) and a meaningful spiritual practice,
- A purposeful life – parenting, career, volunteering, etc.
- Regular and enjoyable physical activity,
- Honest and open relationships that feed your soul.
What step(s) can you take today to begin to enhance your vim, vigor, and vitality by giving special attention to your physical, mental, and/or spiritual health?
If your only motivation is to renew your health so that you can be a better caregiver, do it!
Much Love,
Julie Meekins
