Every journey in life teaches us lessons. Even though the road can be tough, we are grateful for the lessons that being parents of a child with disabilities has taught us. Our hope is that there is something in here that will help you along your journey.
Always ask God. – So many times we had to make decisions for both our Amy and our son, Josh, that were staggering and would likely impact them tremendously for the rest of their lives. We were not equipped. However, we are thankful that our God has worked in our lives in the past, he works now, and he will keep working in the future. So we learned to always ask. He really does love our children more than we do. We can trust Him. What decisions are you making for your child that are overwhelming you? Offer your questions to the God who created your child. Then, wait. Listen. More often than not, when we do that, God gives us the peace for one idea over another.
See your child as a kid first not as their disability. There are so many things for parents with children with disabilities to consider in addition to the already staggering decisions to be made in the day to day of raising every child. It can be very overwhelming and exhausting and can rob us of the joy of getting to know the preciousness of our child. Celebrate their accomplishments. Make it a point to have fun with them. Play a lot. Read to them a lot. Hug them as much as they let you. Find a way to do WITH THEM whatever it is that brings you joy.
Remember the other family members and love them, too. Because there is often so much to do to care for our child with disabilities, we can get hyper-focused on that child and forget everyone else around us. Our daughter, Amy, is the youngest of our four children. Growing up, we were a family of six. We also needed to focus on the needs of our family, our marriage, and EACH of the other children as individuals.It is okay to prioritize interventions. We don’t have to do everything all the time. If your child is anything like Amy, you have many specialists in his or her life. Tom used to say that if we made a poster of Amy’s body, we could easily draw a line to each body part and name the specialist attached to that part. Each one of those specialists are an expert in their field. To them, their field is THE most important. Therefore, they give you advice – whether it be medical or educational or regarding various therapies – to bring about what they feel is the best opportunity for your child. We need these experts. We are grateful for their knowledge and experience. We, as parents, also know that we, above all of them, want the absolute best for our child. We must stop and consider the whole picture. We must ask questions like: Is it time to put this therapy on hold for a while and concentrate on this development over here? Is it the best thing for the whole family to be traveling to therapy every day of the week? Does she really need a trach? Are we considering the needs of everyone in the family and do we need to prioritize for the benefit of the entire family?
Rise above your circumstances. Find joy in your story. Recently Julie had the privilege of being a guest on the Rising Above Ministries Podcast. (https://www.risingaboveministries.org/)One question that Becky Davidson – the host – sent to me ahead of time to think about was: What are ways that you rise above your circumstances and find joy in your story?
When our children were younger, this answer would be different for Julie. It would basically involve all the things we have already shared. But now, Julie would answer this way:
- *Spend time in God’s word often. Bible reading and Bible studies give me perspective that there is a much bigger world and great purpose beyond my life. I also learn over and over again that Jesus loves me. Even when I am having a “moment” of frustration, overwhelm, shut-down – I know that Jesus loves me and loves my husband and children even more than I do.
- *Encourage and Validate others often. Giving a word of encouragement and validating other special needs parents is something that I would not be able to be effective at had I not had my own journey first. It definitely brings me joy in my story to know that I now have the experiences and the journey to love other parents better.
- *Do purposeful work. For me – that is Champions4Parents.
So, we ask you the same question: What are ways that YOU rise above your circumstances and find joy in your story? We would love for you to share that with us at Champions4Parents@gmail.com.
Much love,
Tom and Julie Meekins
Parent/Caregiver – we at Champions for Parents want you to:
- Know that you are not alone.
- Find a community of support.
- Take one day at a time.
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Voice or Text)
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Champions4Parents
Don’t forget our website: www.Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s book at www.HeartReCHARGE.com
