One Example of Activity Time
Once a month we host a support group for parents of children who have significant special needs or challenges of any kind. We call it OASIS. Each month Tom shares a devotional with us from the Word of God and then I get the privilege of taking the group through some kind of interactive exercise.
We thought it might be helpful for you if you are thinking about hosting a support group to see how we often set up these activity times.
And if you are a parent, you might enjoy the content of this particular activity.
At a recent OASIS night, this is how we rolled it out:
Title: Readiness: Strategy Planning Now for the Moment of Challenge
Jumping off – Intro
How do we prepare for some of those Moments of Challenge?
Story: This night we shared a story of a recent medical encounter Amy had at the nearest teaching hospital.
It went something like this:
Amy wanted her feeding tube to be permanently removed. So, we consulted with her primary care office who endeavored to schedule an appointment with the Gastroenterology department of the hospital. GI passed it off to the Surgical Care department. An appointment was scheduled for a consult, so off we went a little over an hour away to have a chat about taking steps to making the feeding tube removal permanent.
As we always do, we chatted beforehand about the possible lines of discussion that could open up at this consultation appointment. We thought we were well prepared.
Well, without going into all the gory details, the consult rapidly turned into the procedure before we had a chance to get our bearings. Long story short…it was not a good experience that day and the fall out was rather emotionally and physically challenging for weeks afterward.
All during that aftermath, we discussed often what we could have done differently.
12 weeks later…lots of healing had taken place at the wound site. However, it was not complete. We needed to know everything was okay and if we needed to consider anything else. However, none of the three of us was eager to return because of the eager-beaver doc who was more than likely very competent but not good at communication we encountered before.
We suspect that there are those of you out there shaking your heads because you know all about these kinds of moments.
But Amy wanted to know if there was anything else to be done to speed the recovery and complete the healing. So – off we went again to the Surgical department of the hospital.
What a world of difference! Even though we had to wait hours (due to difficult situations for other patients – not the fault of the nurse practitioner or doctor), this time Amy was seen and listened to well. Tom and I were seen and listened to well.
The reason for the story was to give an example of an experience for which we want to do our best to prepare our loved one (and ourselves as caregivers).
We proceeded with the introduction to the Activity this way:
The question is: How do we get ready? Is this a one and done? NO! It has been the experience of most of us that we deal with things similar to this or IEPs or even trips to the grocery store over and over and over again.
We cannot anticipate everything, obviously. But, there are some things that we can anticipate based on others’ experiences and on our own past experiences.
How can we get practical? How can we be solutions-based rather than whining-based or complaining-based?
Next, we shared with the group a few other potential examples of life situations for which we might want to prepare.
We said, “Here are some possible scenarios just to get your juices flowing:
#1 picking up children from school. Often a time of meltdown or increased difficulty. What can you do ahead of time to make this better?
#2 hospital or doctor appointments. We are at the mercy of the medical personnel regarding timing and handling. What can we anticipate? How can we prepare?
#3 children have triggers. Hearing the word “no” – how can you rephrase? Certain foods (food dyes, gluten, dairy). Electronics. What can you anticipate and prepare for?
#4 bedtime routine
#5 grocery store or other routines
We moved into a Small Group Activity. We encouraged everyone to 1) get in groups of two or three. 2) discuss one of the life situations given or come up with one for your group to discuss strategies around and appoint a spokesperson to share. Come up with at least 2 strategies. You have 10 minutes.
Then we did our Wrap up – with a Large Group discussion.
When you are leading a support group encourage your folks to always strive to be solutions based. Some support groups become a pity party or complaining session and, while it is good to have a chance to briefly vent, it is not good to wallow.
After the Large Group discussion, we ended with a summary and encouragement toward Application:
Components of readiness:
- Prayer
- Listening to the Holy Spirit (slow down long enough to listen)
- Draw from past experience. Ask the questions: what worked? What didn’t work?
- Draw from the experiences of others.
- Make a plan
- Utilize helps like visual charts or cues, special toys or blankets, etc.
Share your plan with a friend – ask them to pray.
And then we end our Support group with Prayer & sometimes with a Group Photo
We hope this window into the general plan of the Activities portion of our OASIS Support Groups has been helpful to you.
We invite your questions, comments, or your own tried and true ideas. Write to us at Champions4Parents@gmail.com
With much love,
Julie (for Tom, too)
