Jacob comes to church activities with aspergers-like symptoms. We love Jacob and are eager to serve him well. He is brilliant and also very rigid in his thinking. If it is not logical to him, it is not to be done. If a teacher or leader or another child is doing something that does not make sense in his black or white only perspective, he really has a hard time.
The behavior he sometimes displays is
- impatience, and/or
- rudeness, and/or
- meltdowns.
He cannot work his way out of an “It HAS TO BE DONE like this” way of thinking.
We suggest that your team identify some concerns and brainstorm solutions. Here are some ideas:
Solution 1: You will need to teach this child with infinite patience that different ways of thinking and doing things are okay. In a gentle but firm way explain that so and so is doing things differently – but it is not wrong. It is not bad. It is just different. You will need to teach this over and over and over and over again. Know this. It will make doing it much better. God is infinitely patient with us. He will give us what we need to be patient with Jacob.
Solution 2: A script for the parents to go over with the child away from church time.
I. Make Digital Recordings. A possible script:
“Sometimes when I go to Sunday School, Children’s Church, AWANA, Boy Scouts, School, (whatever your group) the teacher wants me to do a project (play a game, stand in a line, play with toys, work on my verse, etc.). I will listen to (Mr. or Mrs. (teacher). It is okay if it is different than the way I would do it. It is okay if the kids do their projects different than I do. I am learning to be kind and to accept a different way. It is okay. It is good.”
II. Visual Charts
Create and post (or put in a special binder for this child) a chart with detailed information on how you want this child to respond. Give him or her cues for certain points in the agenda of the event.
- Bring child back to the chart multiple times.
- Always remember you are teaching life skills, social skills.
- Always affirm the child but teach him or her to allow for others’ ways and ideas.
With much love,
Tom and Julie Meekins
