What are you afraid of as a caregiver to a loved one with a disability?
Recently, we had a discussion with a group of parents over this very question. Some of the fears that were stated were:
- How will my child “make it” in this world? Will they be able to get a job?
- Will they be bullied all of their lives?
- Will my child ever have a real friend?
- What happens when I am gone? Will there be someone who will take care of her?
- What if a scary situation arises and I cannot handle it?
- With my child not being able to talk, will I know if abuse happens?
- What about my other children? Will they be traumatized for life?
- What will the side effects of this new medication be?
- What if there is not a place in the education system for my child?
- What if my child actually does follow through with a suicide?
These are gut-wrenching, long-term, and overwhelming fears. We are sure that you have these kinds of fears and others, too. Like you, these parents want the absolute best for their children – whether those children are still small or are teens or are adults.
We are all looking out into a near-future and further-out future for our children and realize that we truly have little control. It is foggy and overwhelming to think about.
What is a parent to do? Here are some ways that you can work through the ever present fears.
Be in a Faith Community with other caregivers. If you want to get perspective on your own situation, hang out with other parents of children with disabilities. Community is so vital to not feeling alone and isolated. Community is also great for picking up good ideas. If you cannot find an in-person community, look online for support groups. We have the Champions4Parents Virtual Coffee Shop Chats each month and we would love for you to join us. Rising Above Ministries has community groups you could also join.
Get to know the God of the Bible. Mary Tutterow in her Book – The Heart of the Caregiver states, “We can get so gripped in the tight fist of fear we forget there is an all-powerful loving God who knows everything we and the person we are caring for needs — and He is able to supply it.”
This is the truth: Our God is faithful. Our God is loving. Our God is sovereign. Our God considers you and the person you are caring for a masterpiece. We can receive great comfort in the Bible teaching at the end of Romans: “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord) (Romans 8:38-39).
As we were discussing our latest fears and trying to figure out how to do life with them, the conversation got pretty deep. We were asking questions like – will we be okay even if our greatest fears happen? The answer was a thoughtful but resounding yes. How could we be so sure? Because everyone in that room has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Everyone in the room had evidence personally and in watching others’ lives — of the faithfulness of God – of the love of God.
Life is excruciatingly hard sometimes. We are not guaranteed an easy time of it. We cannot put our hope in thinking that things will get better. They may — and if they do we will be grateful. But…if they do not – we must put our hope in God – not in the circumstances getting better.
Keep your eyes on Jesus. We live in a difficult world with difficult troubles and need the hope, power, strength, peace, and wisdom that is far greater than anything we have in ourselves. Focus on Jesus, our resurrected King! Believe him, receive him, and live for him. Be filled with the Holy Spirit who gives us his love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control during the hard times!
God has a perfect love for us. The Bible tells us that perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18). We are being held by the God who created the universe. Receive his love. Let it wash over you. God says in Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.
When we keep our eyes on Jesus, get to know the God of the Bible. By keeping ourselves in a good faith community with other believers who are caregivers, we can be encouraged and empowered for each day’s challenges no matter what we face.
Much Love,
Tom and Julie Meekins
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Voice or Text)
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Champions4Parents
Don’t forget our website: www.Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s websites at
https://amychristinemeekins.com/
https://amystories.wixsite.com/heartrecharge
If you would like to support us financially as we provide love and support to Parents and Caregivers as well as Ministry Folks who serve families impacted by disability, please go to our donor page on our website: https://www.Champions4Parents.com/donate
