Tom and Julie Meekins
A number of years ago, it became apparent to us that we and other parents whose children are impacted by disability needed a support group. We went to our church leaders to get the green light, which they gave readily.
We have been at this for 6 years now and have learned a few things that may be helpful to you if you already have a parent support group and are looking for fresh ideas or if you are hoping to start one up.
Our first suggestion is that you work with who you have in front of you right now. Start with a small group. Provide opportunities for connection and meeting-up. That is what we did. Our group started with just a few people. As you gather and get to know each other, the members will begin to invite others and give input into things you can do as a group.
Here is a list of things to consider as you grow your group and provide meaningful opportunities.
Decide on the mission. We knew that we wanted to create a group where God the Father, Jesus the Savior, and the Holy Spirit was the foundation on which everything was built. Since that was our mission, we knew that we would constantly provide opportunities for spiritual growth. We also knew if we stayed true to that mission, it wouldn’t end up being a pity party or vent station which can often happen in support groups. We wanted our group to be helpful to parents by helping them grow in the Lord, grow in parenting skills and have a place to get a good perspective on their challenges. An added bonus to all this has been the relationships the parents have been able to develop with each other.
Official Parent Support Group Meetings. Once a month – three times in the spring and three times in the fall – we have official gatherings where childcare is provided. This is how we started. These gatherings are set up so that we can take advantage of college students looking to fulfill community service graduation requirements.
What do we do at our official Parent Support Group gatherings? Here is a sample agenda for our spring and fall monthly meetings:
- Greetings & Refreshments. As the parents arrive, we warmly greet them and invite them to grab some coffee, tea, and snacks.
- Trivia. Next, our goal is to break the ice and get everyone relaxed. This is a large group activity where we throw out 4 or 5 quick trivia questions – sometimes around a seasonal topic like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Winter, Valentine’s, and often totally random things.
- Announcements. This is where we report local events that are disability friendly.
- Spiritual Focus. We start the official content of each gathering with a devotional from Tom. It is important to lay a biblical foundation.
- Practical Focus. Next, we explore a relevant topic for our group. For example, in early November, we wanted to address challenges and solutions specific to the holidays that are unique to parents raising children with disabilities.
- Large Group. Small Group. Wrap up. Julie presents the topic in the large group, after which, we then divide in small groups to discuss how this topic affects us. Then, we come together as a large group again and wrap it all up by concluding with an emphasis on practical application.
- Ending Prayer.
We also invite pastors and ministry leaders to come speak at our monthly gatherings.
Bible Studies. – Julie has led virtual and in-person Bible Studies with moms. In-person studies were located at homes and by hosting a table for moms of kids with disabilities at the large Women’s Life Bible Study at our church. This is an awesome way of both filling the need for connection and encouraging moms to grow in the Lord.
Communication and Connection. We want our parents to find as many ways to connect with each other as possible.
- Social Media – We opened a secret Facebook group where local parents can keep up with all of the announcements of events and also get help with parenting questions, resources, prayer support, and invite others to join them at places like the playground.
- Email and texting – We want to keep in mind that some people are not on social media. Email and texting is an important way to give invites to events, share announcements, and connect on a personal level as well. We endeavor to send all pertinent information both in the Facebook group and by email. We use texting as a personal way to keep in touch.
- Online opportunities to join meetings – It is now our goal to provide a virtual way for those who cannot come in person to join our meetings.
- Focus on Dads – We have learned that most dads are not as inclined to come to meetings and events where “chatting” is the main thing. When we offer additional focuses with physical games like corn hole and/or a meal (food is always good) dads tend to feel a little more comfortable.
- Mom’s nights out & Mom’s Morning Coffee Breaks – Moms love being able to get away and meet up with other moms. Some moms are more available during the day while the children are in school. Other moms work during the day and are only available at night. And then there are stay-at-home moms who prefer meeting up in the evenings so that a babysitter or dad can put children to bed.
In each of our connection points, we strive to create an atmosphere where the moms and dads feel emotionally supported. We aim to not just be event planners, but leaders who are invested in the spiritual growth and discipleship of parents, and who provide practical parenting resources and tips and strategies for them. And…we pray for them.
Other creative ways to support parents of children who have disabilities. When the pandemic of 2020 hit and we couldn’t gather in-person for at least months (and for some much longer than that), those of us in ministry networked and gave each other creative ideas.
Now, going forward, we have figured out additional ways of reaching out. We can implement all of our typical in-person ways to support parents and continue incorporating all pandemic-driven ideas as well going forward.
Here are some of the things we did to make sure our families were supported:
Drive-By Pick-ups – For both Easter and Christmas, we put together goodie bags for families and invited parents to drive by and pick them up.
Mailings – For Valentine’s Day, we put together supplies for craft projects, added coloring pages, mazes and word searches and mailed them to the families in our group.
Virtual parties: We invited our families to join us for virtual parties where we did virtual scavenger hunts (that was the most popular activity), asked trivia questions, and told stories.
These are ideas that can be implemented at any time.
You can make your Parent Support Group as simple or as involved as works best for your people.
The important thing is that parents of children who are affected by disability have a community of support. You can help these parents to have a sense of belonging and not feel isolated.
We will finish out this blog post with testimonies from real parents who shared with us the things about our Parent Support Group that make a difference for them.
I love the easiness to it. Planning can be too much for me. We live in a unique place that we have nice college students that volunteer (at the facility) for childcare. Maybe people in other areas can find creative ways to find special people to help with the kids. I know it is not easy. AL
Connections with others. Times for Moms to be away from their kids and just socialize. Availability of the Facebook group to ask questions as they come up. MB
Bible studies, prayer support, friendships, and just plain knowing that the others in (our group) really do ‘get it’ because they live it daily also. MW
Being able to talk to people that understand my life and to learn from others for different ideas on how to handle situations. DM
For me it is the women’s Bible study and Wednesday night gatherings. I enjoy getting to connect with other moms going through the same kinds of struggles in person. I also really love the practical guidance you always give every Wednesday and in Bible study. CH
Being able to talk with other parents. Being a single parent is very isolating. AB
Know that if you make small steps to support parents, the ripple effect is enormous now and for generations to come. It is worth the effort.
If you would like support as you begin to explore creating a parent support group or if you are ready to ramp up your parent support group and want to bounce ideas off of us, we are available to you! Email us at Champions4Parents@gmail.com.
Much love,
Tom and Julie Meekins
CONNECT WITH US:
We invite you to connect with Tom, Julie, and Amy through:
Email: champions4parents@gmail.com
Phone: 410-746-9010 (Call or Text)
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Champions4Parents
Don’t forget our website: www.Champions4Parents.com
And check out Amy’s book at www.HeartReCHARGE.com
