What are you afraid of as a caregiver to a loved one with a disability? Recently, we had a discussion with a group of parents over this very question. Some of the fears that were stated were: How will my child “make it” in this world? Will they be able to get a job? Will they be bullied all of their lives? Will my child ever have a real friend? What happens when I am gone? Will there be someone who will take care of her? What if a scary situation arises and I cannot handle it? With my child...
One day we were speaking at a conference for children’s ministry leaders about what may be happening inside the child who is constantly moving. We recommended that the ministry leaders consider keeping some fidget toys on hand. We picked up a squishy ball to show as an example. A man in the front row asked if he could hold it for the rest of the breakout session. He explained how it was helping him. He said that he often feels nervous energy and is easily distracted. One of the strategies he had developed to keep himself focused at conferences was...
When parents drop off their children affected by disability, whether those children are young or they are adults, you probably see a wide range of emotions and approaches. For example: Mama or Papa Bear – You know these parents because you can feel the fight in them even as they round the corner. Parents who drop off and run away fast – BEFORE you get to ask any questions because they are afraid you will not take their child if you knew more Entitled parents – Give the attitude that you owe them and that their child should be prioritized...
3 Tips for what TO do Yes #1: Think about who is already there. Build a foundation of serving by loving the ones who are already in your church. Determine their needs and put into place the things that will work to help them feel part of the church family. Think of the person with disabilities and their needs. Consider how best to love siblings. Empower parents with a support group and respite. Yes #2: Share the gospel. In the midst of putting helpful things in place, remember the reasons for ministry. The first and foremost focus needs to be...
Assumptions are made and most assumptions are wrong. Albert Einstein Assumptions are the termites of relationships. Henry Winkler (the Fonz) I don’t know about you, but I have been guilty of making assumptions about challenging behavior as I see it in children and adults alike. My assumptions are often not accurate or I am at least not considering the whole picture. Could this be you, too? Maybe there is more that we need to know and understand. Maybe we need to think about these behaviors differently. Maybe we need a different response. Maybe Albert Einstein and Henry Winkler are on...
Every journey in life teaches us lessons. Even though the road can be tough, we are grateful for the lessons that being parents of a child with disabilities has taught us. Our hope is that there is something in here that will help you along your journey. Always ask God. – So many times we had to make decisions for both our Amy and our son, Josh, that were staggering and would likely impact them tremendously for the rest of their lives. We were not equipped. However, we are thankful that our God has worked in our lives in the...
Children’s ministry leaders are enriched and empowered when they meet up with other children’s ministry leaders from other churches. There are conferences for them to attend throughout the country. Youth ministry leaders often bounce ideas off of and support other youth ministry leaders through local meet ups and zoom conversations and through conferences. Adult ministry leaders have better thriving ministries when they get together with adult ministry leaders from other churches to share ideas and attend conferences. The same is true of leaders in disability ministry. We all need opportunities to collaborate, get heads together, plan, and vision cast. When...
How to love our brothers and sisters with disabilities better. Are our assumptions serving each other well? Today we participated in a roundtable on Zoom with over 30 participants from all over the country discussing the topic of serving individuals at church who have speech limitations. The discussion was started right out of the gate by two women who have found amazing ways to use the gifts God has given them in spite of the challenge of having limited ability to use speech to communicate. Here are some things we learned from them and others during this enlightening and inspiring...
Are you weary? I don’t just mean tired. I mean bone-tired, worn out. Are you mentally drained? Physically exhausted? Emotionally spent? If so, this message is for you. Life can be very hard sometimes. Circumstances and certain people can suck the life blood out of you. Just getting up each day and plodding through the impossible task list with no end in sight can be burdensome. Sometimes people motivated by their own vindictive, selfish agendas can be overwhelmingly hurtful. You may be dealing with some form of grief either from losing a loved one or because of loss of the...
Julie Meekins Hey Mom! Are you feeling guilty? Most moms I know suffer from some sense of mom guilt at some time or another. You may be thinking things like… It is my fault that my child has this disability. I have no idea what I am doing.What does being a good “advocate” even mean?Why can I not get my act together, this place is a mess!I had to apologize yet again to my child for vocalizing my frustrations.And then…there are the other members of the family and extended family that I feel I am neglecting.Insert whatever has you in a...
