We are guessing that if you work in ministry, you have a heart for people. We all come to the table with our own experiences, hurts, challenges, victories, and passions. We are limited in being aware of every kind of struggle people may face and limited in knowing how to support folks in every kind of situation. That is why we need each other to raise awareness.
Parents raising kids with challenges may experience some or all of these hurdles in getting plugged into the community:
No one to care for the children. Children who have special needs of any kind, including the overt and easily identifiable ones as well as the hidden ones, often need a little extra patience, a caregiver willing to take a step of faith in becoming educated in how to best care for them, a whole lot of love, a setting where they can be safe, and more. That makes getting a babysitter very difficult. Even when there is childcare available at an event, there usually is not the level of care needed for their child.
Feeling like an inconvenience to the ministry staff and volunteers. This is a sad one. Because the children need extra patience and care, because the parents are exhausted and cannot always communicate well or participate in supporting the ministry with time or effort, parents can often feel like they are imposing and are an inconvenience.
Too exhausted to make the effort to get themselves and/or the children to the location. Some of these parents are “on” 24/7. The children often do not sleep well, creating sleep-deprived parents. The parents are on “alert” constantly with children who may be elopers, subject to meltdowns or tantrums, or need help in caring for even the most basic of needs.
Financially unable to pay the costs of an event. Most families who have children with special challenges have additional financial responsibilities for therapy and child development services and equipment, medical issues, medical equipment, special diets, gas for trips to medical and therapy facilities, and more. There usually isn’t extra money for conferences, children’s activities and supplies, etc.
Need help getting the children to the childcare location. When a special needs family approaches a facility, it can be daunting to find a parking space, get everyone out of the car and keep them safe (especially if they are “darters” or “wanderers”) as they approach the building, and then to navigate to the childcare location.
No reserve energy to “invite” themselves to a group. A lot of parents who are raising children with special challenges have difficulty making and keeping relationships. This is because most of their waking hours are hyper focused on the needs of the children. That leaves little time and energy for making, building, and maintaining relationships with other adults. Therefore, when the opportunity arises for them to come to a community event or participate in a Life Group type-setting, it can be awkward and uncomfortable.
Potential Solutions
- Pray for childcare volunteers. Then, consider how you might be able to recruit and train those folks to care for the children with special challenges.
- Always greet the children and the parents with a warm welcome. Do not give the impression they are a bother, inconvenience, or problem for you.
- Pray for those who would want to come alongside each family, getting to know the family and how the faith-based community might offer practical support so that the parents can get to participate in community.
- Offer scholarships to events parents could participate in that are not difficult to apply for.
- Pray for volunteers who would greet the families at the door or maybe even at their car and take them to the childcare location, offering to push strollers or carry bags and then take the parents to the location in the building of the event or group they are to attend.
- Extend special personal invitations to the parents to come to groups, events, etc. and pray for folks within the groups, events etc. to warmly welcome them and help them navigate the event or group.
- Follow up to continue building relationships with these parents and their families.
Let us all strive to enfold these precious families into the faith community.
Much love,
Tom and Julie Meekins
